Presenting . . . Yo Yo Honey Singh in and as Desi Kalakaar

From the maker of the pathbreaking songs on drug addiction among women (Dope Shope) and the pros and cons of alcoholism (Main Sharaabi), and the educational song on how to identify hiphop (Issey Kehte Hain Hip Hop) — Professor Hirdesh Singh aka Yo Yo Honey Singh — comes yet another stroke of brilliance. This time he takes up the cause of lovers across the country who are facing parental opposition to their romance. Worry not. Here comes Elopement 101 (I thank my sister for introducing me to this gem at this point) from the man himself. Foolproof. Especially if your lady love’s father looks like Gulshan Grover. And if your lady love is awkwardly tanned and dresses in glittery clothes and shiny makeup.

Also know that it takes two helicopters and about a dozen police cars to take Honey Singh down. Because he is the man! Yes, chicks dig being shot at in a car on a desert road. AND he will show you four meaningless minutes of a chase sequence. And at the end of it Gulshan Grover will wait for you in a red nightrobe. Because that’s how we roll. ‘Forever.’

So without further ado, here’s your dope. I mean, hope.

So there you have it. Right from the man himself. So gear up, pack your bags and run away! Don’t forget the bhindi, bruv! And no, I did not make that up. Those are real lyrics. Yes. You can facepalm now.

Featuring:

Honey Singh in a Towel Skirt
Botoxed Gulshan Grover
The US of A
Random jobless cops
Sonakshi Sinha in Aishwarya Rai’s Dhoom 2 too tanned but not quite right makeup
Dope

Bonus Feature: Rapping 101 by Professor Yo Yo Honey Singh

STEP 1. Steal rhymes from a four year old
STEP 2. Make it worse.
STEP 3. Make an expensive looking video in an exotic looking place
STEP 4. Put a babe in it.
STEP 5. Lecher mode on.
Ta-da!