‘We Wish You A Great Life’ from Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage

After the tsunami of Kaho Na Pyaar Hai, ‘Rohit’ is back to blow your mind with Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage. From the name, the look, the feel, you might think this is a Sooraj Barjatya film. Or a Rakesh Roshan one! But SURPRISE! From the director of Raaz comes this very special film!

2Now if you haven’t seen this film you should probably go jump off the cliff immediately. But that apart, this song might leave you dumbfounded and lost, and not just because of the way it is written. And so here’s a short recap! Well, behenji rich girl Sapna (Amisha) meets dude boy Rohit (duh, Hrithik!). Hrithik Christiano Ronaldo Roshan is a total stud who is the cool guy in college and his opening scene is a football match where he takes the ball single handedly from one side of the field to the other dodging every player with no assists wearing uncomfortably short shorts.

1aAlso, he scores all the goals for his team and makes them win. And he ALSO defends. Bro, if this shit was on our Indian football team then aaj story hi kuch aur hoti. But sigh.

So it’s love at first sight for Rohit and love at first fight for Sapna. Also featuring the most epic falling in love expression ever seen in Indian cinema:

1Girl’s father is a Gujju don control freak (Kiran Kumar) and the brother is deadly don son Vasooli Bhai from Golmaal.

3Both are maniacs who don’t let her breathe, eat, sleep, or even go to her friend’s wedding without their permission. Sapna’s purpose in life is to get married to Rohit and so she goes through the movie all dressed for a wedding. Coz you always need to be prepared!

4Sapna runs away with Rohit leaving Gujju Don and Vasooli Bhai going bat shit crazy baying for their blood! And guess where Rohit decided to hide his lady love! The boys’ hostel! Because who would think of looking for her there, right?

They sincerely believe they will be able to hide one dumb girl in that hostel full of boys but she ends up screaming and running across the hostel letting everyone know she has arrived *facepalm*.

Hostel boys are furious that Rohit is putting their lives in danger and even an emotional little dialogue from the hero does not move them. But then Sapna steps in with a tearful speech about her sad life and even sadder wardrobe due to which she had to borrow the hero’s clothes and the boys melt into puddley poo.

5And so this song is the celebration song from the Hostel Boys to Behenji and Dude wishing them a Great Life…

And themselves too! Coz the Great Life extends to them: getting a free cook, laundry-girl, cleaner without the headache of a girlfriend or the wallet-pain of a maid! Which is exactly what the song starts with: them dumping all their dirty laundry and meal orders on her. But she comes cheap. A flying kissie from her bae gets her going!

6They run around singing, dancing, playing basketball, tug-of-war and doing other miscellaneous stuff across the campus without the Principal noticing of course!

The music is by our very own Mr Rajesh Roshan and these pathbreaking lyrics are by Dev Kohli, the phenomenal man behind the lyrics of equally stunning songs such as Haila Haila from Koi Mil Gaya, Mr. Lova Lova from Ishq, Chocolate Lime Juice from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and *drumroll* Yeh To Sach Hai Ki Bhagwan Hai from Hum Saath Saath Hain! Applause please!

7The lyrics do not beat about the bush at all and come straight to the point:

‘—MALE—
I promise you a great life
I want you to be my wife
–CHORUS–
Life life
–MALE–
Wife wife
–CHORUS–
Life life
–MALE–
Wife wife’

This is something we more evolved folks call ‘unpretentious poetry’. You lay people will not understand. Now stop making fun of it. Hmph!

And because she is a nice, sweet, adorable girl, she makes it a point to put in a proper Acknowledgements right at the very beginning:

‘Thank you thank you thank you
Sandy, Madhu, Chintu
Thank you for great life’

There is some fabulous choreography on display in this song of course:

8And yes, the Principal/Guard/Random Authority Figure only makes it a point to check the premises for five seconds at night. Because that is what happens at engineering colleges across the country. True story.

Rohit is brimming with love and finds the dumb behenji lady incredibly endearing. Obviously.

9Then follows the greatest special effects sequence of Amisha Patel’s career:

10Though why anyone would need to show a scene with random guys prancing around as special effects is a question that even God would apply a facepalm to.

And there is the stars, the night sky, the firecrackers, all CGI love!

11And some more brilliant choreography:

12Sapna chills with the back benchers slobbering all over Rohit’s hand, dances with all of them in the chemistry lab and the college grounds and the classroom and the hallways, AND NOBODY SEES! What college is this, pray!

The song ends with a group shot of all these lackeys with the happy couple. Yes, they gather the entire student body on the college premises and manage to click a group shot with a girl with no college faculty showing up and hauling them up

13No moral speeches here. To those other unfortunate souls who had to sit through any part of this movie like me, wishing you a great life! Ok Tata!

Featuring
‘Kyaaunki meri shaakl Rohit se milti hai’
Kaho Na Pyar Hai Hangover
Shittiest College Administration/Security EVER
Most Predictable Rhymes EVER
… and…
Token Sardar Friend

14P.S. One last dance to end! Ok you can kill me after this one!

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Leave a comment on the post in the next one minute and Rakesh Roshan will Kaha Na Pyar Hai to You.
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Ignore this and Amisha Patel will come back to acting and you will be plagued by Rajesh Roshan music every morning for the rest of your life.

‘Jab Dil Miley’ from ‘Yaadein’

Now if Chaand Sitaare was where Krissh began, this is where he blossomed and multiplied! If Hrithik Roshan’s glorious career graph has a cornerstone it has to be Yaadein! And this song from Yaadein takes epicdom to new levels.
The best lyrics in the movie of course belong to Eli Re Eli with the most badass line in Hindi cinema in the 2000s:

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But Jab Dil Miley wins hands down for the sheer superiority in every other aspect: whether dancing, or cinematography or costumes or supporting actors! With music by our favourite Anu Malik and lyrics by the legendary Anand Bakshi, this song carries a very important social message, which we shall come to later.

The song starts with Kareena from Asoka holding a feather for apna hero Ronit (Hrithik).

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Right, right. Yaadein! The costumes confused me! Maaf karo! So yes, Isha (Kareena) from Yaadein prances around with a feather and gets a ‘video popup message’ (read, Flash video) (in 2000s, mind you!) with the song that they are going to change your life with within the next 5 minutes 92 seconds. Yes, I counted.

The sender obviously does not know how to write Hindi in English. So ‘Jab’ becomes ‘Jub’ and ‘Tab’ becomes

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Our lady is in so in love she has had no time to even clean her room.

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And she sings:

‘Jab dil mile mile mile dil mile
Tab gul khile khile khile gul khile’

Now because she is a nice, sweet girl who does not want you to not understand what she just said (in case some of you were making notes) she says it again:

‘Jab dil mile, tab gul khile
Jab gul khile, tab dil mile’

And again:

‘Mile mile mile mile dil mile
Khile khile khile khile gul khile’

Sigh! Whattay sweet kid.

Suddenly, CGI feather slips out of her hands and flutters across the fake studio camp and lands in … SURPRISE! Ronit’s hands!

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Random Sardar dude in Hawaiian clothing (arre camp hai toh kapde toh vacation vale hi honge na! Silly peoples!) starts screaming and writhing in ecstasy.

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Young love is blooming and how! The heaving bosoms and the searing gazes doth testify! Do not miss the random folks grooving behind the trees.

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Yes, dear folks, this song is an anthem for randomness. And this is just the beginning! Go Team Ghai!

In case, the flash video, and Isha’s crooning were not enough for you to learn the lines, Ronit steps in to have a slice of the fun and remind you, and sings:

‘O jab dil mile mile mile dil mile
Tab gul khile khile khile gul khile’

And do not forget:

‘O jab dil mile, tab gul khile
Jab gul khile, tab dil mile’

No, no. Encore!

‘Mile mile mile mile dil mile
O jab dil dil dil dil dil mile’

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Of course, Bollywood is a firm believer in playing instruments with ‘no strings attached’. Watch the guy on the left strumming away on an electric guitar without a jack or amp!

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Why do ‘TAAR’ when you can ‘GUITAR’, ay? Sorry, bad one! 😛

And of course, Sardar dude is going ballistic with happiness! After all, yeh ‘pyar ka maamla hai’!

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But hush. Now make way for epicness beyond belief.

So Shahrukh did a double in Duplicate

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Big B did a triple in Mahaan.

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Aamir Khan did six in Ghajini

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Salman did seven in O Teri.

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And Priyanka had a dozen in What’s Your Rashee!

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But they ain’t got nothing on our dude! Look at him go!

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And on.

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And on.

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Unstoppable force indeed!

And then voila, special effects ki bahar. Floating in the cosmos are our lovers!

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This stuff can put Avatar to shame.

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The ladies dancing behind Kareena are of course not Indians. I mean what shit parties do you peeps go to where there are only Indian chicks???

The song unfortunately does come to an end with random shots of the lovers in various stages of heat, raring to have a go at each other. But do not forget:

‘Mile mile mile mile dil mile
Jab dil dil dil dil dil mile’

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Now kids, this is what happens when you have too much weed. Rave parties can be dangerous for your health and this is what Subhash Ghai uncle’s lesson for you today is. Mixing alcohol and drugs leads to:
a) Running after feathers
b) Seeing not just double, but multiple.
c) Imagining that you are floating on the sets of Samay in Mahabharata
d) Getting attracted to weird men who wear their pants at their chests.

Featuring:
Worst Speller Ever
Happy Singh
Jhaadi ke Peeche Naach
CGI Explosion
Hrithik in multiple roles
Best drunkard ever. At 04:50–04:55

23And finally a word from our sponsors:

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